Wednesday, September 10, 2008


so today's been a little bit of a blue day. lately i've just been in a sort of slump. arriving here to la palma has been such an exciting experience and i've had a blast getting to know the island and exploring all that is new and unique and wonderfully spain. it's so good to be united with fred again after being away for a few weeks in africa and then on my own for a few more weeks wrapping things up in sweden. i feel unbelievably and copiously blessed and am constantly astonished by all that i've been given. but sometimes, like john mayer so poetically says, something's missing. i feel so dead. i have moments of happiness, days that are better than most, friends and family that bring so much joy, adventures in the kitchen that i thrive on, but at the end of the day...i don't feel that i have done enough...that i am enough. in the midst of all those blessings i feel, i also feel so blue. and often times, i don't even know what's causing's just a feeling. today's been that sort of day...a sort of pensive, hollow day. fred and i talk about this a lot, and he is an angel to care as much as he does. he wants nothing more than for me to be happy. if only i knew how to make that happen.
well, serendipitously enough, just this afternoon i received a weekly email from the title of the email was '9 Things You Can Do to Be Happy in the Next 30 Minutes'! i couldn't believe it. i do believe these sort of occurences are preordained. i immediately opened the email and read the list. i was so encouraged and felt a sense of hope. i copied the list in my journal and plan to refer to it a reminder of where my focus needs to be. i've pasted the list below to share with all of you. and p.s. i just signed up as an organ donor. i believe i'm already registered, as i have the sticker on my driver's license, but i just wanted to be sure. as for the rest of the list, i'm on my way!

(the following is written by gretchen rubin from real simple magazine, september 2008)

Being happier doesn’t have to be a long-term ambition. You can start right now. In the next 30 minutes, tackle as many of the following suggestions as possible. Not only will these tasks themselves increase your happiness, but the mere fact that you’ve achieved some concrete goals will boost your mood.

1. Raise your activity level to pump up your energy. If you’re on the phone, stand up and pace. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Put more energy into your voice. Take a brisk 10-minute walk. Even better…

2. Take a walk outside. Research suggests that light stimulates brain chemicals that improve mood. For an extra boost, get your sunlight first thing in the morning.

3. Reach out. Send an e-mail to a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or reach out to someone new. Having close bonds with other people is one of the most important keys to happiness. When you act in a friendly way, not only will others feel more friendly toward you, but you’ll also strengthen your feelings of friendliness for other people.

4. Rid yourself of a nagging task. Deal with that insurance problem, purchase something you need, or make that long-postponed appointment with the dentist. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a big rush of elation.

5. Create a more serene environment. Outer order contributes to inner peace, so spend some time cleaning off your desk and tackling the piles in the kitchen. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizable dent. Set the timer for 10 minutes and see what you can do.

6. Do a good deed. Introduce two people by e-mail, take a minute to pass along useful information, or deliver some gratifying praise. In fact, you can also…

7. Save someone’s life. Sign up to be an organ donor, and remember to tell your family about your decision. “Do good, feel good” — it really works!

8. Act happy. Fake it 'til you feel it. Research shows that even an artificially induced smile boosts your mood. And if you’re smiling, other people will perceive you as being friendlier and more approachable.

9. Learn something new. Think of a subject that you wish you knew more about and spend 15 minutes on the Internet reading about it, or go to a bookstore and buy a book about it. But be honest! Pick a topic that really interests you, not something you think you "should" or "need" to learn about.

Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal, but in fact, research shows that happier people are more sociable, likable, healthy, and productive — and they’re more inclined to help other people. By working to boost your own happiness, you’re making other people happier, too.


heather said...

I love you and am so proud of your adventures and all that you have done in your life! I am jealous of your ability to get up and go, to be in new places all of the time, especially with the one you love. You have the rest of your life to settle down, to live in one place surrounded by family. Go. Do. Photograph!

Best and blessings,

Julie said...

Hej Jessie! I'm so sorry you feel this way! But I think I know what you're talking about, I've had similar feelings in my life. And I truly admire you for being able to willingly put yourself in this situation. You're a strong woman with an unbelievable dedication and respect for your honey!! Just remember that you're doing the right thing for the future, even if it's difficult now! And as always, enjoy the lazy days- there won't be many in our lives!